I have a confession to make…
I am a virgin. yes! i know the eighteen year old virgin. So many people think of it as a bad thing but hey, everything has positive AND negative said right? right? well, I’m not going to justify myself for what i an by saying that i’m waiting for the right guy because honestly, they don’t exist. Don’t also think of it as a lack of opportunity either bust seriously, i’m just terrified.
I get really really uncomfortable when the sex topic comes up and even though people don’t actually realize it, its there and like i just can’t handle sex talks. Actually, i couldn’t handle them until about 5 months ago. sex does not really appeal to me as an activity and many things actually don’t. like i said, it just scares me, the hell out of me. what if i contract an STD or fall pregnant which i just cannot stand thinking about.
but being a virgin also scares me. like i do want to engage in sexual intercourse sooner rather than later. i know, for us that were just born into christianity, it is morally or biblically correct to only have sex whilst married but then again, in the life we live today, that fact is kind of scary. not too long ago I watched Confessions of a marriage councilor and it made me think about something. If i save myself for the man I’m going to marry, i may only have sex with ONE person for the rest of my life (hopefully) and if the guy i end up marrying is not spontaneous, it will only be ONE way and i will NEVER know how sex with other people feel like, i will never know if the sex I’m having with my husband is good or bad and if I’m also just settling with the sexual pleasures i will be getting.
yeah, what i mentioned above are things i sort of think about everyday. i also just don’t want to have sex with some random for the first time, some dude that will just toy with my feelings but hopefully one day i will find the appropriate time to loose my virginity.
until then, i am still a proud virgin!